Your Past Does Not Determine Your Future

Do you look at the past with regret? Do you find yourself thinking, if only I'd had better parents, better opportunities, more money - you fill in the blank - I would have done something better with my life. It's easy to fall into the line of thinking that you are where you are today because life dealt you a bad hand. After all, if you had a rocky start to begin with, how could you possibly achieve greatness? Our prisons and drug treatment centers are filled to overflowing with unfortunate people who lived through tragic childhoods that cast a dark shadow over their entire lives.

Are these unfortunate stories unavoidable? Is there a series of events early in life that predetermines the direction that that particular life must follow? Does a catastrophe occurring at any point in a person's life doom them for the rest of their life?

Hardly.

History, as well as the present day,  offer us so many examples of people who overcame unimaginable odds and achieved greatness in every field. Helen Keller, Malala Yousafzai, Frederick Douglass, Lech Walesa, Elie Wiesel, Oprah Winfrey - really this list is endless.

In my opinion, the common thread in most people's stories of overcoming adversity is this: in addition to inner strength, they had people who supported and believed in them. There was at least one person in each of their lives who said, "Here, take my hand, we can do this together."

Helen Keller had her tireless teacher and friend Annie Sullivan, Malala Yousafzai has her doting father, Frederick Douglass had Anna Murray-Douglass who helped him escape slavery and became his devoted wife, and so on with many others who beat the odds.

So, what I'm saying is, we're all in this together, folks. Look for ways you can support and uplift one another, even in small ways. Start your day with the question, "How can I serve?"

Not only will you take the focus off your own troubles, small or large, but, with more and more people living life with the attitude of giving, we will all be on the receiving end of other people's giving, as well. Our various strengths and weaknesses can be matched with those around us, so that we can all be lifted to greatness in many forms.

Here is a video about one of my all-time favorite musicians, who escaped a seeming life-sentence to poverty and crime, and became beloved by millions around the world.

Enjoy.

Tim's Place

I don't know why, but we humans tend to be afraid of those who are different from us.  We are friends with people who look like us, think like us, dress like us; we listen to radio personalities who agree with our views; and, in times past, we even killed and imprisoned people just because they didn't fit the norm.

But now, it seems to me that we are entering a new era of understanding and acceptance, at least in some parts of the world. And, some societies are even celebrating the differences that exist among us and make life more interesting. These days, there are opportunities open to people that could not have even been imagined just a couple of generations ago.

Watching the video about Tim Harris made my eyes fill with tears. The joy and love that flows from this young man just made my day. He brought back so many wonderful memories for me. When I was in high school, and for two years after I graduated, I volunteered with Down Syndrome kids, helping them to learn how to read and swim. Later, when I opened a local dance studio with my partners, I taught dance classes specifically for Down Syndrome and disabled children.

It was so very rewarding for me because these kids are the most loving people you could ever meet. They are so open, not judgmental at all. They thrive on hugs, love and smiles. They have no enemies and their view of life is so open and innocent. With the DS kids, what you see is what you get - no pretensions, no walls - just a love of life and everything in it.

And I wonder, why is it that we "normal" people can't be more like that?

In the video, Tim is excited just about going to work! How many people feel that way? How many of us start our work day with a happy dance?

How often do we let our ideas of what we can't do stand in the way of our dreams?

What can we learn from people who are different from us, and how can we use what we learn to make the world a better place?

Tim's enthusiasm and belief in himself was so strong that it swept up everyone in his path. I wonder how many people's lives he's touched just by being himself and following his heart.

Can we each take a piece of Tim's story with us, out into the world every day? Can we learn to think in terms of how we can achieve instead of why we can't?

It is possible. I'm a believer.

40 Pieces of Advice Challenge - Day 2

Recently I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for a few years. While it was great to catch up on the events in each other's lives, I did notice that we spent a lot of time talking about how busy we are.

Being busy has become a badge of honor in our society, especially for moms who work both inside and outside the home.  Somehow, we have come to feel that if our lives are not filled with around the clock activity, then we are falling behind everyone else, like we are less-than. The truth is that busy-ness does not define who we are.
Who we are defines who we are.

That may sound like some kind of zen riddle, but it's not meant to.

Think about it. When you were a child, did you feel the need to make to-do lists? Did you live by your calendar? Or, did you maybe spend hours at a time exploring in the back yard, or riding your bike around town, or climbing up trees to see the world from a different place? More than likely, you had nothing to prove, no agenda to see through. You were just being you.

Now, I'm not saying that we shouldn't grow up and mature, that we shouldn't take on responsibilities and commitments. What I am saying is that while our roles in life change, we should still honor who we are aside from all that.

One way of keeping the integrity of who we truly are, is to detach from the world for a few minutes every day. Many people call this sort of thing meditation. And, if you want to meditate in a more formal, directed manner, you should definitely explore that option. But, what I'm talking about is simply sitting alone for at least 10 minutes a day, maybe with an invigorating fresh green smoothie, and just letting your thoughts drift. Maybe you can reawaken long-forgotten dreams, or discover a new interest that will finally be heard in the silence, or see a new way of tackling a problematic situation, or just revel in the freedom of not thinking about anything, not having to do anything. The possibilities are limitless.

One thing is for sure, though. You will come to cherish and appreciate your alone time. And, you'll go back into your life roles with renewed enthusiasm and energy. So, start today, or tomorrow morning, start whenever you're ready. The most important thing, though, is to start. Because you never know where those 10 minutes a day will lead you.

40 Pieces of Advice Challenge - Day 1

Happy New Year to all of my dear readers! While the date on the calendar is an arbitrary way of organizing the days of our lives, it's still a great opportunity for us to take stock of where we are, how far we've come and where we are headed.

Recently, I received one of those forwarded emails that people send to friends, full of pictures of animals that make everyone say "Aww, isn't that cute!"  It was called Forty Pieces of Advice, and across each picture, there were words of wisdom that really spoke to me. So, I decided to challenge myself to take the good advice and apply it to my own life. 

Then, I thought, "Hey! I bet some of my readers might like to do this, too!"  

So, here it is, friends, my invitation to you. Join the challenge today, or at any point that you like. Take on the pieces of advice that resonate the strongest for you, or, do them all! I'll be posting two each week, so check back often.

Walk 10 to 30 minutes every day. And, smile while you walk.

This one is a no-brainer! Everyone knows that walking is one of the best and most accessible forms of exercise. Walking helps to strengthen muscles, improve balance and work out the cardiovascular system. It also releases endorphins, which makes your whole day brighter. And, if you smile as you walk, you'll not only help yourself feel even happier (it has been well-established that smiling has a direct impact on our mood), but people you encounter on your walk will also benefit. Smiles are contagious, let's start an epidemic!

So, are you on board? Let me know if you're joining my challenge, and feel free to add your own bits of advice!

Love, 
Tamera

The Chicken Pox Blues

We have a new visitor at our house! 

Chicken pox. 

One at a time, each of my children has been singing the ol' Chicken Pox Blues.

On the bright side,  I'm turning into quite the chicken pox expert. Maybe I'll even achieve master level by the time the last spot has faded from the last kid.

The night before Nicholas broke out in the pox, we had just finished reading a short novel called "The Trouble with Chickens!" What are the odds, right? So, when he came to me the next morning, complaining bitterly about the itchy red bumps, I looked at him, smiled and said, "That's the trouble with chickens!" My poor baby. But, at least my little joke made him laugh and roll his eyes at me. And that, in turn, made me laugh! So, we managed to make the best out of a bad situation.  Plus, I now have a new affectionate nickname for my biggest boy. I call him "polka dot".

Right before I sat down to write this, I had just made and placed in front of him his third green drink of the day. Luckily, I had my phone in hand and was able to catch his reply in this picture. In case you can't tell, he's saying "Noooooooooooooooooo, not another green drink! How many of these do I have to have?"

Teach Your Children Well

We almost never watch TV at our house. We just have too much living to do, and, really, most of what's on TV isn't worth watching, anyway. But, every once in a while, I do turn on certain shows that I find interesting. One of these shows is The Biggest Loser. I love seeing the contestants confront their demons, push through their perceived limits and transform their lives.

This season, there's a woman on the show named Tanya who really got my attention. Her lifestyle had deteriorated so much that she gained over a hundred pounds with her last pregnancy, and her baby was born grossly overweight at 11 pounds 6 ounces. Now 2 years old, Tanya's daughter is at risk for many diseases and will be climbing an uphill battle all her life. I cried right along with Tanya when she broke down and said, "I did this to her."

And it made me think of the millions of American children who are eating fake, processed foods, and leading unhealthy, sedentary lives. When I was a child, I played outside with my friends, walked or rode my bike around town and rarely sat around the house. Contrast that with today's electronic culture of video games, TV, computers, smart phones, streets empty like ghost towns. These days, when I see kids playing outside, I'm actually surprised by it. I can't tell you how sad this makes me.

Add to this the explosion of "convenience foods", and we've got the perfect mix for a whole generation of people at risk for all kinds of diseases, from diabetes to heart disease to stroke to cancer.  It is estimated that one third of all American children and adolescents are overweight or obese. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around this number. These children will, in all likelihood, grow up to be overweight adults, and I think of all the missed opportunities, the heartbreak, the economic toll on society that will follow.

And, when I think of these children, Tanya's words echo in my mind. Children do not get fat in a vacuum. There is a whole society that sets up the conditions for this to happen. But, the situation is not hopeless. To paraphrase Gandhi, we must all strive to make the changes in ourselves that we wish to see in the world.

Do we model appropriate behavior to our children? Do we make time to teach them how to make healthful meals from real, fresh ingredients or do we microwave frankenfoods to give to them during the car ride to the shopping center, where we will circle the parking lot to find the spot nearest to the entrance of the store? Do we collapse in front of the TV after dinner or do we take a walk around the neighborhood and take the time to talk to one another about the events of the day? When our children have something to say, do we give them our undivided attention, or are we staring at our smartphones?

Small changes add up to big consequences. Be mindful. Make good choices. And, remember, children are always watching and learning. What are we teaching them?

SOS

We had a lovely summer, and before we knew it, it was almost time for the kids to go back to school again. I wanted to spend some special time with my children before hopping onto the crazy happy merry-go-round of school-dance-piano-homework-sports-friends-etc. So, we decided to take a road trip, hang out together and just really enjoy being a family. In the twelve days that we spent driving around the country, we got that and so much more than we could have ever anticipated.

Upon entering Kansas, we spotted a note hanging from the "Welcome to Kansas" sign.  Well, curiosity being our calling card, we just had to investigate. This is what we found:

Honor the Elderly

All too often, we see a wrinkled face, a bent back, a slow shuffling step, and we are quick to jump to conclusions about the person living in that body. We may not even be aware that we are falling into the easy trap of discounting a person's worth simply because their bodies, and sometimes their minds, have grown feeble with age. Let's remember that we all start as soft, tiny human beings, taking in the wonder of the world with new eyes. Years may change our outsides, but, within, we all carry the spirit that is ever ourselves throughout our entire lives.

If I ever find myself judging an elderly person for what they are no longer able to do, I try to picture them at their strongest, most vibrant age, and that helps me relate to them as a fellow human being, not just an "old person". Take time to engage an elderly person in conversation, and I promise, you will be the better for it. We have much to teach each other and much to learn. Will you find time in your life to honor the elderly?

The Best Gift Ever

Being a mom is a crazy roller coaster ride of emotions. Anyone who's ever been a parent will tell you that it's the hardest job in the world. And most of them will also say that they wouldn't trade it for anything. I am one of those people. I can't even begin to imagine my life without my children. Sometimes the word "love" just doesn't seem big enough to describe what I feel for them.

But there are those times when I just need a moment to clear my head. Like the other day, Nicholas and Jayden were bickering, the same way brothers all throughout time have done. Usually I let them resolve their differences on their own. They need to learn how to get along with people without having mommy step in to make everything all right. But on this particular day, they just couldn't come to an understanding and it got a little bit much. So I made sure that there was nothing seriously wrong and then I went outside and took a long walk. The fresh air and the sight of serene Klamath Lake helped refresh my mind, and, by the time I returned home, I was ready to deal with anything the kids had in store for me. 

What I got, was this:

I beamed at my daughter, wrapped her up in a bear hug and covered her with kisses. 

"Open it, mama!"

I did. 

And everything was perfect.

Guest Post - Jessica Wick

Chasing Butterflies

These days our lives are busy, rushed, and filled with technology. While technology makes our lives easier it can cause a disconnect with those around you, especially your children. It is important to take the time from your schedule several times a week to enjoy simple activities that will help you bond with your children. My personal favorite – chasing butterflies!

Chasing butterflies is as fun and as simple as it sounds. Do you remember chasing them as a child? We use a camera instead of a butterfly net in our family to prevent any unwanted injuries to our beautiful flying friends. It doesn’t have to be butterflies. It could be flowers, rocks, rivers or anything else you find pretty and exciting. Pick something that you both enjoy finding and make each trip an adventure. It can be a new activity each time.

Keep your camera available during your outings. The pictures are fun to use in a scrapbook or for starting a collection. Keeping a record of your fun is a great bonding experience (do arts and crafts together) and the results are something you will cherish for years to come. You also catch some of the best photos of your children when they are playing instead of posing for the camera.

Keep things simple when you go out to chase your butterflies. Turn off your cell phone and give yourself and your child the time you need to relax and enjoy life. Talk to them about their day and discuss their hopes and dreams. Take the time to connect and know them as well as yourself. It provides the opportunity to be comfortable in each other’s company without expectations.

The goal is not to catch your butterflies – it is to bond with your kids. It is taking the time to be a part of their life in simple ways. Start when they are young and continue it throughout their years for a better relationship. If you make the time to talk about small things they will feel more comfortable coming to you for the big things.

What kind of butterflies do you chase?

Jessica Wick is one of our very own E3Live employees, she enjoys teaching her three children about organic gardening, has a horse, a goat, 2 dogs and a flock of chickens that also love E3Live!

A Moment to Reflect

It seems like everyone is busy these days. We're busy working, taking the kids to their various activities, doing the million and one chores that keep a household going, etc, etc. Very rarely do we take the time to just be. I came across this video and it had a profound effect on me. It's become my favorite way to remind myself of what's really important in life.

Take a few moments to watch and reflect on the message here. You'll be glad you did.

Just One Thing

Recently, I was reading through the Harvard Business Review and came upon a blog post called To Change Effectively, Change Just One Thing . I know, the Harvard Business Review sounds like it might, at most, inspire a giant yawn, but it’s actually full of fascinating and surprisingly easy to read tidbits. Take a look sometime, you’ll probably get hooked just like I did.

This particular article began by focusing on how changing just one thing about one’s diet can lead to significant and sustained weight loss. Now, I don’t really need to lose weight, but I am interested in learning and improving as much as I can, so I kept reading. And I was glad that I did, because the author then went on to discuss how the “change one thing” principle can also be applied to business and to life in general.

That got me thinking about the one thing I could change right now that would impact my life. 

I’ve been dealing with a challenging situation for a while. It involves someone that I’ve done business with for many years, who seems to always have their hand out, asking for more and more. I finally came to the difficult conclusion that it was not an equitable situation, and that I was being taken advantage of.

I’m a giver by nature – it feels good and it attracts people of a like mind. However, I’ve found that it also, unfortunately, attracts the takers. So, I’ve had to take a really hard look at a life lesson that’s been staring me in the face – how to discern between those who share my love of giving and those who merely take advantage of it. This is not an easy thing to do! I would much rather give without reservations and have life be nothing but rainbows and unicorns. 

"You don't have to find out you're dying to start living."

I first heard about Zach Sobiech when a friend shared a post about him on Upworthy. Zach passed away on May 20, 2013 from a rare form of cancer. Every year, cancer is responsible for cutting short the lives of millions of people and forever altering the lives of millions more.  Each of their stories is unique and tragic in its own way. Here's Zach's. It may be difficult to watch, but I promise that it's worth your time.




If you like Zach's music, you can buy his album on iTunes here. It's $5.99 and the proceeds go to a research fund set up on his behalf. Or you can donate money to the research fund directly here.

I am not affiliated in any way with Zach Sobiech, his family, iTunes or the Children's Cancer Research Fund. I just really want to share this extraordinary story of a young man who rose above circumstances to be a shining example to all of us.

With love and gratitude, 
Tamera

Update from Upworthy:

Hey, everyone —

Zach Sobiech died last week. He left behind one of the most moving stories we've ever heard. We posted it on our site. And what's happened since then has blown all of our minds.

• Millions of people around the world have Liked Zach's story and shared it with their friends.

• Browsers have translated it into 21 languages (though apparently, "Wondtacular" doesn't have a translation).

• One of Zach's original recordings rose to the #1 slot on iTunes (the first time a song by an independent artist did so) and debuted on the Billboard Top 100 as the #1 digital track in the "Rock" category.

• And folks have donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to the research fund set up on his behalf to help change the fates of other kids suffering from cancer.

Sharing something on the Internet can help change the world. And that, in our opinion, is pretty wondtacular.

Guest Post - Chris Armstrong

MOTIVATION: FOLLOW YOUR BLISS...but keep score. 

Over the years, I've been through several cycles of the typical gym routine: alternating days of working different muscle groups on various weight machines and 30+ minutes on a treadmill or some other cardio machine - all in the hope of achieving the vaguely defined goal of getting "in shape." 

I had been overweight for years, but it hadn’t affected my vanity enough to motivate me to lose it. I always felt perfectly healthy and didn't feel any desire to work out regularly in order to "feel better." It was only some pesky numbers on blood test results that my doctor insisted were "outside normal parameters", and her suggestion of putting me on additional medications, that got my attention like nothing had in the past.

    I began looking for a form of exercise that could hold my interest more 

    than my somewhat unfocused gym experiences had several times before. 

Eventually, I discovered CrossFit. I was immediately drawn to the variety it provided: different workouts everyday, consisting of a range of activities like, running, jumping, gymnastic/body-weight movements, Olympic weightlifting and Powerlifting - anything BUT a predictable routine. A quick online search led me to the nearest CrossFit gym and I was off to the races. 

Another thing that was attractive about CrossFit was that all workouts could be modified to match anyone's level of fitness. In the same class, there can be teenagers and 60 year olds; firefighters, police, former and current military people; soccer moms of all sizes and fitness levels; and seriously overweight and out of shape guys of all ages. We're all doing the same general workout, but some are lifting more weight or jumping on a higher box and some finish before others. 

I've heard people say that they need to get in better shape before starting something as challenging as CrossFit. The best comeback I've heard for that is: 

        "Saying you're too out of shape to start exercising is like saying 

                     you're too dirty to take a bath."

In a typical CrossFit workout, we all start together with a running clock. Some workouts are meant to be finished in a predetermined time, while others take as long as it takes to finish all the prescribed exercises. We work out together and encourage each other all along the way. CrossFitters like to say that CrossFit is the only sport (and it IS also a professional sport) that has more cheering for the last person to finish than for the first. The last ones are always cheered on and encouraged by the ones who have already finished.

All of this working-together makes it feel like a bit of a family and I have found that even people of VERY different cultural/economic/political backgrounds find common ground through CrossFit and get along swimmingly.

"CrossFitters: Creating bonds through shared agony."

As this blog post is about motivation, you may be thinking all this motivational stuff I've mentioned so far is my main point, but I haven't even gotten to the MOST motivating part yet, at least for me.

Go Climb a Tree

Every once in a while, Michael and I don’t quite see eye to eye.  Nothing unusual about that. Like most couples, we talk through the issues and come to a compromise. On the topic of child rearing, he tends to be a bit more overprotective than I am. Don’t get me wrong, I worry and fret about my babies’ emotional and physical well being just as much as he does, if not more. But, I know that part of my job as a mom is to prepare my children to function independently in a world that may be indifferent and even hostile at times.

After months of renovation work, we finally moved into our new house a couple of weeks ago. I love that we have plenty of room to spread out, and a yard full of lush greenery with magnificent trees. The kids love it, too. Especially the part about the trees.  And that’s where Michael and I disagree a bit.

He thinks that it’s far too dangerous for kids to climb trees. I say, let them climb. Is there a chance that they’ll fall and get a little scraped up? Sure. 

“What if they break an arm or a leg? What will you do then?” says Michael. 

That’s a bridge I’d rather not think about crossing. Of course, I’d be heartbroken, like any mother would be. My tears would flow more easily and with greater strength than my injured child’s. But we would get to a doctor, be fitted with a cast and learn to be more careful in the future.

I took an informal poll amongst my friends and was truly surprised at the differences of opinion. Then, I did a bit of searching on the Internet. It seems that the issue isn’t as straightforward as I had assumed. In my world, childhood equals playing in the dirt, climbing trees, scraping knees and going indoors only when the sun goes down.

But, for a lot of moms and dads – well, moms more than dads - the risks outweigh the advantages, it seems. I read about the hazards, the what-ifs and the keep-them-safe-at-all-costs opinions.

Gratitude

A friend recently sent me this video and it made my day. Life truly is wondrous.  Let's take the time to appreciate every moment we are given. Enjoy and share with those who are dear to you.

Tamera

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Recently, I watched in wonder as a boy of about 10 years rode a unicycle expertly down one of the streets in my neighborhood. He was obviously having a great time, gliding up and down driveways, tracing large circles on the sidewalk and generally looking about as comfortable on that one wheel as most people do hanging out in their favorite easy chair. When he looked up and saw me admiring him, his face beamed with pride and joy.  I called out, “You are really good at that!”

“Thank you!” He smiled and rode toward me.

“How long have you been riding?”

“Oh, not too long. I started practicing on my friend’s uni every day after school. I just got my own today.” As we spoke, he maintained his equilibrium by rolling back and forth a couple of feet in front

Happy Thanksgiving

Recently, I received an email with pictures of Hornero birds building their mud nests, complete with a windbreak to protect their eggs and young offspring. The amount of time and work involved in making these perfect little homes boggles my mind. But even beyond that, I am amazed at how the birds know just what to do. Clearly, there is silent and powerful knowledge passed down from one generation to the next, and it plays a substantial role in allowing the species to survive and to thrive.

We humans also pass on our accumulated knowledge to our young. Many times, we use words. But, much more often, we teach through our actions. When I was a child, I heard adults say, “Do as I say, not as I do.” And I thought it was the silliest thing I’d ever heard. If what they were telling me to do was so great, how come they weren’t doing it, too?

Shared Joy is Double-Joy

 

Growing up, all my friends wanted the usual pets – dogs, cats, hamsters, horses. You know, the regular pet arsenal. Me? I wanted a chimp. Oh, did I want a chimpanzee. I had pictures of chimps on the walls of my room, I checked out library books and pored over chimp-related details, I even tried to dress as a chimp for Halloween once. Any time which seemed like the right time (but, in retrospect, clearly wasn’t), I nudged my parents about maybe bringing a chimp home to live with us. To my unending surprise, through all my pleading and well thought-out reasoning, they remained unmoved. Couldn’t they see what a great pet a chimp would make? Still, you had to give me points for my single-minded dedication to this cause.

It wasn’t until years later that my dream was realized. Well, sort of. My partner, Michael, endeared himself to me forever, when early on in our relationship, he displayed an inspired performance for me. Jumping wildly around the room and perfectly imitating the ooh-ooh-aah-aah of my favorite animal, he made me laugh until the tears flowed and won my heart like no other.

Roots and Wings

There’s a new-ish term I’ve been hearing a lot lately - helicopter parents. It refers to those parents, usually mothers, who hover over their children, scheduling every aspect of their lives, and going to extremes to shield them from disappointment and difficulty. No doubt about it, the mothers’ behavior stems from loving and wanting only the best for their children. I, too, share this desire, but my methods are a little different.

We know that exposure to germs in childhood helps strengthen the immune system and protects children from developing allergies and asthma. Ongoing studies are also suggesting that there is an age threshold to this building up of the immune system – lack of exposure during the early years can’t be compensated for in adulthood.