The Best Gift Ever

Being a mom is a crazy roller coaster ride of emotions. Anyone who's ever been a parent will tell you that it's the hardest job in the world. And most of them will also say that they wouldn't trade it for anything. I am one of those people. I can't even begin to imagine my life without my children. Sometimes the word "love" just doesn't seem big enough to describe what I feel for them.

But there are those times when I just need a moment to clear my head. Like the other day, Nicholas and Jayden were bickering, the same way brothers all throughout time have done. Usually I let them resolve their differences on their own. They need to learn how to get along with people without having mommy step in to make everything all right. But on this particular day, they just couldn't come to an understanding and it got a little bit much. So I made sure that there was nothing seriously wrong and then I went outside and took a long walk. The fresh air and the sight of serene Klamath Lake helped refresh my mind, and, by the time I returned home, I was ready to deal with anything the kids had in store for me. 

What I got, was this:

I beamed at my daughter, wrapped her up in a bear hug and covered her with kisses. 

"Open it, mama!"

I did. 

And everything was perfect.

What is Joy?

With three children and a business to tend to, I find myself slipping into “functioning mom” mode pretty often. I’m usually so busy doing what needs to get done - supervising all the kids’ activities, cooking, cleaning, solving problems, big and small – that, at the end of the day, I’m often left wondering, “Where did the time go?” And, sometimes, during the late hours after everyone else has gone to bed, I feel totally depleted, like I have nothing left to give. 

That is very hard for me to admit to.

Do I love my children more than life itself? Absolutely. No question about it. I truly adore the day-to-day life of being a mom. Even the mundane parts, like reminding the kids to pick up after themselves or brush their teeth. And I cherish every moment of this fleeting time with my precious ones, because I know that, in what will seem like the blink of an eye, they will be grown and have lives independent of me.

That’s why I cringe with surprised disappointment when that little voice whispers to me every once in a while, “What about me?”