Your Past Does Not Determine Your Future

Do you look at the past with regret? Do you find yourself thinking, if only I'd had better parents, better opportunities, more money - you fill in the blank - I would have done something better with my life. It's easy to fall into the line of thinking that you are where you are today because life dealt you a bad hand. After all, if you had a rocky start to begin with, how could you possibly achieve greatness? Our prisons and drug treatment centers are filled to overflowing with unfortunate people who lived through tragic childhoods that cast a dark shadow over their entire lives.

Are these unfortunate stories unavoidable? Is there a series of events early in life that predetermines the direction that that particular life must follow? Does a catastrophe occurring at any point in a person's life doom them for the rest of their life?

Hardly.

History, as well as the present day,  offer us so many examples of people who overcame unimaginable odds and achieved greatness in every field. Helen Keller, Malala Yousafzai, Frederick Douglass, Lech Walesa, Elie Wiesel, Oprah Winfrey - really this list is endless.

In my opinion, the common thread in most people's stories of overcoming adversity is this: in addition to inner strength, they had people who supported and believed in them. There was at least one person in each of their lives who said, "Here, take my hand, we can do this together."

Helen Keller had her tireless teacher and friend Annie Sullivan, Malala Yousafzai has her doting father, Frederick Douglass had Anna Murray-Douglass who helped him escape slavery and became his devoted wife, and so on with many others who beat the odds.

So, what I'm saying is, we're all in this together, folks. Look for ways you can support and uplift one another, even in small ways. Start your day with the question, "How can I serve?"

Not only will you take the focus off your own troubles, small or large, but, with more and more people living life with the attitude of giving, we will all be on the receiving end of other people's giving, as well. Our various strengths and weaknesses can be matched with those around us, so that we can all be lifted to greatness in many forms.

Here is a video about one of my all-time favorite musicians, who escaped a seeming life-sentence to poverty and crime, and became beloved by millions around the world.

Enjoy.

Tim's Place

I don't know why, but we humans tend to be afraid of those who are different from us.  We are friends with people who look like us, think like us, dress like us; we listen to radio personalities who agree with our views; and, in times past, we even killed and imprisoned people just because they didn't fit the norm.

But now, it seems to me that we are entering a new era of understanding and acceptance, at least in some parts of the world. And, some societies are even celebrating the differences that exist among us and make life more interesting. These days, there are opportunities open to people that could not have even been imagined just a couple of generations ago.

Watching the video about Tim Harris made my eyes fill with tears. The joy and love that flows from this young man just made my day. He brought back so many wonderful memories for me. When I was in high school, and for two years after I graduated, I volunteered with Down Syndrome kids, helping them to learn how to read and swim. Later, when I opened a local dance studio with my partners, I taught dance classes specifically for Down Syndrome and disabled children.

It was so very rewarding for me because these kids are the most loving people you could ever meet. They are so open, not judgmental at all. They thrive on hugs, love and smiles. They have no enemies and their view of life is so open and innocent. With the DS kids, what you see is what you get - no pretensions, no walls - just a love of life and everything in it.

And I wonder, why is it that we "normal" people can't be more like that?

In the video, Tim is excited just about going to work! How many people feel that way? How many of us start our work day with a happy dance?

How often do we let our ideas of what we can't do stand in the way of our dreams?

What can we learn from people who are different from us, and how can we use what we learn to make the world a better place?

Tim's enthusiasm and belief in himself was so strong that it swept up everyone in his path. I wonder how many people's lives he's touched just by being himself and following his heart.

Can we each take a piece of Tim's story with us, out into the world every day? Can we learn to think in terms of how we can achieve instead of why we can't?

It is possible. I'm a believer.

Teach Your Children Well

We almost never watch TV at our house. We just have too much living to do, and, really, most of what's on TV isn't worth watching, anyway. But, every once in a while, I do turn on certain shows that I find interesting. One of these shows is The Biggest Loser. I love seeing the contestants confront their demons, push through their perceived limits and transform their lives.

This season, there's a woman on the show named Tanya who really got my attention. Her lifestyle had deteriorated so much that she gained over a hundred pounds with her last pregnancy, and her baby was born grossly overweight at 11 pounds 6 ounces. Now 2 years old, Tanya's daughter is at risk for many diseases and will be climbing an uphill battle all her life. I cried right along with Tanya when she broke down and said, "I did this to her."

And it made me think of the millions of American children who are eating fake, processed foods, and leading unhealthy, sedentary lives. When I was a child, I played outside with my friends, walked or rode my bike around town and rarely sat around the house. Contrast that with today's electronic culture of video games, TV, computers, smart phones, streets empty like ghost towns. These days, when I see kids playing outside, I'm actually surprised by it. I can't tell you how sad this makes me.

Add to this the explosion of "convenience foods", and we've got the perfect mix for a whole generation of people at risk for all kinds of diseases, from diabetes to heart disease to stroke to cancer.  It is estimated that one third of all American children and adolescents are overweight or obese. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around this number. These children will, in all likelihood, grow up to be overweight adults, and I think of all the missed opportunities, the heartbreak, the economic toll on society that will follow.

And, when I think of these children, Tanya's words echo in my mind. Children do not get fat in a vacuum. There is a whole society that sets up the conditions for this to happen. But, the situation is not hopeless. To paraphrase Gandhi, we must all strive to make the changes in ourselves that we wish to see in the world.

Do we model appropriate behavior to our children? Do we make time to teach them how to make healthful meals from real, fresh ingredients or do we microwave frankenfoods to give to them during the car ride to the shopping center, where we will circle the parking lot to find the spot nearest to the entrance of the store? Do we collapse in front of the TV after dinner or do we take a walk around the neighborhood and take the time to talk to one another about the events of the day? When our children have something to say, do we give them our undivided attention, or are we staring at our smartphones?

Small changes add up to big consequences. Be mindful. Make good choices. And, remember, children are always watching and learning. What are we teaching them?

"You don't have to find out you're dying to start living."

I first heard about Zach Sobiech when a friend shared a post about him on Upworthy. Zach passed away on May 20, 2013 from a rare form of cancer. Every year, cancer is responsible for cutting short the lives of millions of people and forever altering the lives of millions more.  Each of their stories is unique and tragic in its own way. Here's Zach's. It may be difficult to watch, but I promise that it's worth your time.




If you like Zach's music, you can buy his album on iTunes here. It's $5.99 and the proceeds go to a research fund set up on his behalf. Or you can donate money to the research fund directly here.

I am not affiliated in any way with Zach Sobiech, his family, iTunes or the Children's Cancer Research Fund. I just really want to share this extraordinary story of a young man who rose above circumstances to be a shining example to all of us.

With love and gratitude, 
Tamera

Update from Upworthy:

Hey, everyone —

Zach Sobiech died last week. He left behind one of the most moving stories we've ever heard. We posted it on our site. And what's happened since then has blown all of our minds.

• Millions of people around the world have Liked Zach's story and shared it with their friends.

• Browsers have translated it into 21 languages (though apparently, "Wondtacular" doesn't have a translation).

• One of Zach's original recordings rose to the #1 slot on iTunes (the first time a song by an independent artist did so) and debuted on the Billboard Top 100 as the #1 digital track in the "Rock" category.

• And folks have donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to the research fund set up on his behalf to help change the fates of other kids suffering from cancer.

Sharing something on the Internet can help change the world. And that, in our opinion, is pretty wondtacular.

Guest Post - Chris Armstrong

MOTIVATION: FOLLOW YOUR BLISS...but keep score. 

Over the years, I've been through several cycles of the typical gym routine: alternating days of working different muscle groups on various weight machines and 30+ minutes on a treadmill or some other cardio machine - all in the hope of achieving the vaguely defined goal of getting "in shape." 

I had been overweight for years, but it hadn’t affected my vanity enough to motivate me to lose it. I always felt perfectly healthy and didn't feel any desire to work out regularly in order to "feel better." It was only some pesky numbers on blood test results that my doctor insisted were "outside normal parameters", and her suggestion of putting me on additional medications, that got my attention like nothing had in the past.

    I began looking for a form of exercise that could hold my interest more 

    than my somewhat unfocused gym experiences had several times before. 

Eventually, I discovered CrossFit. I was immediately drawn to the variety it provided: different workouts everyday, consisting of a range of activities like, running, jumping, gymnastic/body-weight movements, Olympic weightlifting and Powerlifting - anything BUT a predictable routine. A quick online search led me to the nearest CrossFit gym and I was off to the races. 

Another thing that was attractive about CrossFit was that all workouts could be modified to match anyone's level of fitness. In the same class, there can be teenagers and 60 year olds; firefighters, police, former and current military people; soccer moms of all sizes and fitness levels; and seriously overweight and out of shape guys of all ages. We're all doing the same general workout, but some are lifting more weight or jumping on a higher box and some finish before others. 

I've heard people say that they need to get in better shape before starting something as challenging as CrossFit. The best comeback I've heard for that is: 

        "Saying you're too out of shape to start exercising is like saying 

                     you're too dirty to take a bath."

In a typical CrossFit workout, we all start together with a running clock. Some workouts are meant to be finished in a predetermined time, while others take as long as it takes to finish all the prescribed exercises. We work out together and encourage each other all along the way. CrossFitters like to say that CrossFit is the only sport (and it IS also a professional sport) that has more cheering for the last person to finish than for the first. The last ones are always cheered on and encouraged by the ones who have already finished.

All of this working-together makes it feel like a bit of a family and I have found that even people of VERY different cultural/economic/political backgrounds find common ground through CrossFit and get along swimmingly.

"CrossFitters: Creating bonds through shared agony."

As this blog post is about motivation, you may be thinking all this motivational stuff I've mentioned so far is my main point, but I haven't even gotten to the MOST motivating part yet, at least for me.

Health Heroes - Papa Joe Aviance

I think that it is really important to recognize the every day heroes who live amongst us and inspire us to reach higher and live bigger than we think we are capable of doing. So, I'm starting another new series I'm calling Health Heroes! 

Papa Joe Aviance is the inspirational dynamo behind Walk For Life, a walking tour of the U.S. designed to help get people moving and living a healthier lifestyle. From his website:

        Hi! My name is Papa Joe Aviance!

        I have struggled with my weight my entire life, but 2008 
        was the breaking point. I had achieved success by releasing 
        a top Billboard house/dance track called "Last Nigh a DJ 
        Saved My Life", but I still wasn't happy - I was 450 pounds 

Go Climb a Tree

Every once in a while, Michael and I don’t quite see eye to eye.  Nothing unusual about that. Like most couples, we talk through the issues and come to a compromise. On the topic of child rearing, he tends to be a bit more overprotective than I am. Don’t get me wrong, I worry and fret about my babies’ emotional and physical well being just as much as he does, if not more. But, I know that part of my job as a mom is to prepare my children to function independently in a world that may be indifferent and even hostile at times.

After months of renovation work, we finally moved into our new house a couple of weeks ago. I love that we have plenty of room to spread out, and a yard full of lush greenery with magnificent trees. The kids love it, too. Especially the part about the trees.  And that’s where Michael and I disagree a bit.

He thinks that it’s far too dangerous for kids to climb trees. I say, let them climb. Is there a chance that they’ll fall and get a little scraped up? Sure. 

“What if they break an arm or a leg? What will you do then?” says Michael. 

That’s a bridge I’d rather not think about crossing. Of course, I’d be heartbroken, like any mother would be. My tears would flow more easily and with greater strength than my injured child’s. But we would get to a doctor, be fitted with a cast and learn to be more careful in the future.

I took an informal poll amongst my friends and was truly surprised at the differences of opinion. Then, I did a bit of searching on the Internet. It seems that the issue isn’t as straightforward as I had assumed. In my world, childhood equals playing in the dirt, climbing trees, scraping knees and going indoors only when the sun goes down.

But, for a lot of moms and dads – well, moms more than dads - the risks outweigh the advantages, it seems. I read about the hazards, the what-ifs and the keep-them-safe-at-all-costs opinions.

One Bite at a Time

It's that time of year again. The calendar counts us down, day by day, and we finally reach the dividing line. We let go of the old and welcome the new. Resolutions are made with the best of intentions, plans are created for a fresh outlook, a different way of being.  Excitement fills the air!  

Then the weeks roll by and we soon fall right back into the old patterns we wanted to get away from. Sound familiar?

We’ve all been there.

Why are we so predictable in giving up on our goals? Maybe it’s because we set ourselves up to fail before we’ve even started.