40 Pieces of Advice Challenge - Day 14

Today, the average person has more possessions than even the wealthiest of kings ever had throughout most of human history. We have things, organizers to organize our things, cleaning solutions and machines with which to clean our things, storage units to store our things, credit cards to help us get more things - things in our homes, things in our cars, things at our workplaces.  Things here, things there.

Really, we own a lot of stuff.

And, I don't know that we're any happier than previous generations who weren't blessed with such abundance.

Now, I'm not saying that owning objects is, in itself, a bad thing. And, even though I'm liking the rapidly growing minimalist living movement, I'm not even advocating for getting rid of your stuff. Hey, it's your stuff, if you like it, keep it.

But I do know from personal experience that physical clutter and disorder has a real effect on mental and emotional well-being.  Clutter can be a drain on your time, your energy, your productivity. It can play havoc with the flow of ideas and with creativity. 

You've probably experienced it yourself. Have you ever walked into someone's home or office and immediately felt anxious or overwhelmed? Was it because of the visual chaos that confronted you? Conversely, have you entered into a space that had the feel of a calming spa? Was everything arranged in an organically flowing and elegant manner? 

I read a book about cleaning (hey, it was interesting!) that greatly impacted my life. Really. It was about ten years ago, and I still think of this one message even today - every item in your environment should be there because you consciously chose it and you deliberately made a place for it. 

Imagine how your life might change if you had to pick up every item in your home, car or office and figure out whether or not you wanted to own it and decide just exactly where to put it. Might you have less stuff? Probably. Might the things you did decide to keep be more meaningful and useful? No doubt about it.

I have three children. Believe me when I say that between all of their activities, interest, school necessities, clothes, etc., our house is chock full of stuff. And it can truly be overwhelming to keep everything in order. Yes, sometimes our house gets messy - funny enough, it's at those times that the kids' normal clashes become more intense, more frequent. I can't prove it, but I do believe that the clutter that sometimes develops has more than a little to do with their skirmishes.

Is it worth the extra time to clear out the unneeded, organize the necessities, get rid of the outgrown? Most definitely.  Try it in your own life, I guarantee that you will notice positive changes almost immediately.

So, where to start? Well, I know that for me, paperwork accumulates the fastest. So, when you get mail, open it the same day, and decide, while it's in your hands, whether you need to file it, respond to it or throw it away. THEN TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION.

Do you save receipts? Can you get a receipt filing software to keep track of them? If not, can you take pictures of them with your smartphone and keep those pictures in a dedicated file? Are you nostalgically attached to the seemingly thousands of pieces of artwork created by your little artist? Can you save a few of the most meaningful, take pictures of the less important before throwing them in the recycling bin or trash with the rest? Can you sign up for paperless billing?

What about your clothes? Is your closet overflowing with the fads of yesteryear that you just haven't gotten around to donating yet? What's stopping you? Get rid of anything you don't love - you'll be able to truly see what items you own, and, perhaps, what you might need. My children each have a total of 7 sets of clothes, plus a couple of nice things for special occasions. And that's it. I do laundry twice a week so that the dirty clothes don't pile up.

Are your children toys taking over your living room? Could you donate some of those items to those less fortunate? My kids have to have everything neat and orderly in their rooms every Sunday night. If I find a toy lying around as if it is meaningless, such as a stuffed animal under the couch, I watch to see if they truly play with it. If not, no harm done, I give it to someone who would really appreciate it.

For me, freedom is owning very little. It cuts down on housework, clutter, litter - opening up options for how we can best use our time and money. The rule in our house is, if something hasn't been used in 6 months, it isn't a necessary item. And, if we bring home something new, something else needs to leave.

These are just a few ideas, and you don't need to apply them all to your life. Pick and choose to suit your own particular needs. What it comes down to, I believe, is living with intention and consciousness. 

Do you have any ideas for dealing with disorder in your environment? I'd love to have you share them in the comments.

Love,

Tamera

40 Pieces of Advice Challenge - Day 13

What if I told you that, every day, I open my wallet, find a $20 bill, rip it into shreds and set it on fire?

I'm pretty sure that you would see it as a very strange practice. Maybe you would think that I was wasting something that could be of use to me or to someone else.  

And I would agree with you.  

Well, the good news is, I don't actually do that. But, most of us do burn something every single day that is worth far more than twenty dollars. And it is something we can never get more of. 

Time. 

What do you do with your time? Do you think about the past and how you should have done things differently? Do you worry about things you have no control over? Perhaps you think of everything that can go wrong in the future and end up paralyzing yourself in the present?

Do you continually find fault with the words and actions of others? Do you spend your time rehashing conversations in your mind, or have imaginary arguments with people who have done you wrong?

You're not alone. It seems to be the human condition to be wrapped up in our thoughts, constantly living in our past of our future. Many spiritual practices over thousands of years have been focused on helping us live in the present and give up our need to control things beyond our sphere of influence.  Our wisest teachers, throughout our history and our present time, have shown us, in words and by example, that life is best lived by focusing on the positive, moment by moment.

Does focusing on the positive mean that we walk with our heads in the clouds, never seeing the real needs and problems in our world? Of course not. It means finding the best course of action to take in order to serve those needs or heal those problems. It means being so mentally, emotionally and spiritually present in every moment, that we are able to see how to participate fully in this thing we call life. 

Ok, it's very easy to say, but how do you actually stay present in every moment? That is the twenty (million) dollar question. And I'm not so foolish to think that I hold the answers. What I do know is that the times I feel most alive, as though I'm seeing and hearing and feeling and smelling and tasting with amazing clarity, are the times that I am involved in following my passions. When I don't feel the passing of time because I'm exploring nature with my children, or having a heart to heart talk with a dear friend, or when I dress as a clown and make strangers smile - there are so many things. 

In these moments, it doesn't even occur to me to think about the past or contemplate the future. I just AM, and that is the most joyous state to be in. But, what if I am not in one of those moments and my mind starts down that path of worry and regret? Here are 5 things that help bring me focus:

1. Clear up any unfinished business I have with someone. Maybe it's a conversation that needs to happen, or a plan of action to be put in place, or maybe even just writing a letter that will never be sent - but getting out of my head and into the real world will automatically center me in the present moment.

2. Take action right now that will help bring about a desired outcome in the future. Am I feeling resentful because my busy day did not allow me any time to rest and refresh myself? I will take a few minutes to write down the feelings of frustration and make a plan to give myself at least a few minutes of recreation the very next day.

3. I believe in the power of laughter, so I will find something that makes me laugh. A few minutes of comedy really put things in perspective.

4. Commune with nature! I am so very fortunate to live in a place where all I have to do is step outside and I am greeted with the glory of nature. Just a few minutes of walking among trees or feeling the cool breeze play through my hair and I am refreshed and energized.

5. This one may sound like a tired old rehash, but it really works. I count my blessings. That is not to say that I compare myself to the "less fortunate", I don't. I just consciously call to mind all the good and wonderful things in my life.

So, how about you? What techniques do you use to use to keep you living in the present moment? What can you do to use the irreplaceable treasure of time to uplift your life and the lives of others?

What a Wonderful World

If only all commercials were this uplifting! 

Take a couple of minutes out of your day and watch this ad for BBC - you'll be glad you did. And feel free to spread the joy by sharing this post with all of your friends!

Be Kind

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

The recent death of Robin Williams has sent a wave of shock and sorrow through our society. While most of us never met him, we are feeling a real sense of loss at the departing of this man who brought joy to so many.

It's not just that it happened so suddenly. After all, had he been in a fatal car crash or something similar, we would have still mourned his passing. But, there would not have been the confusion and regret that many of us are left with. How could we not know that someone so visible, so well-loved by generations of people, and so gifted with the ability of making others laugh, could be living a life of such profound inner darkness?

And how many of us spend our days around people whom we never truly know, and who never really know us?

When we are greeted with a "How are you?", do we blurt out a cheerful "Fine!" because it's easier than actually sharing what's going on with us? When we take offense to someone's words or actions, do we give them any leeway, thinking that maybe there's a bigger picture that we're not seeing?

I don't know what difficulties Robin Williams was dealing with. I can't make everything better, even for the people closest and dearest to me.  And, I don't have any easy answers to the many problems we all face in our lives. 

All I can say is, when you have to choose, choose kindness. 

With love,

Tamera

When Life Gives You Lemons, Freeze Them!

Grain-Free Banana Bread

This banana bread is so rich and satisfying, you won't even miss the wheat flour! I use almond flour, which you can find just about anywhere these days. If you'd like to make your own, it's very easy. Using a Vitamix or food processor, process about a cup of slivered almonds 20-30 seconds, being careful not to overdo it, as you don't want to end up with almond butter. 

Grain-Free Banana Bread

40 Pieces of Advice Challenge - Day 12

Hello my dear readers! I didn't intend to take so much time away from my blog, but life just ordered itself in such a way that a few days of time devoted just to my family and myself turned into many days of total detachment from all things digital. It was a wonderful time to unplug and recharge ourselves with the energy of each other's company. I highly recommend periodic "getaways" to everyone, even if it's just  for a couple of hours every night.

But I've missed you all and am so excited to be back!

And now, on to Day 12 of the 40 Pieces of Advice Challenge!

This one is really timely for me. As a mom and business owner, I find myself running around all day, seemingly from one urgent task to another. I know that I'm not alone in this - being busy has become our national pastime.

It's really easy to keep giving to others, without stopping to fill our own inner well, until, one day, we find ourselves so tired, that we don't know if there's anything left to give. Can you relate? I know I've felt totally drained from time to time. And then, I remembered how, on airplanes, we're instructed to put on our own oxygen mask before attending to anyone else. There's a very real and important reason for this. If you don't have air to breathe, you may pass out before you can help anyone else.

Now, in daily life, the situation may not be as drastic as running out of oxygen in the space of a couple of minutes, but, the need to take care of yourself is just as real, just as necessary, as it is on that airplane.

So, you might be saying, that's just great, Tamera, but what does all this have to do with getting three people to smile every day?

Everything.

What's the surest way to get someone to smile? You smile at them, of course! So, the first person you need to get smiling is - yourself! Every morning, look in the mirror and smile a great big silly grin. There's no situation in the world that can't be made better with a smile. And by seeing yourself smiling, you just might think it's so goofy, that you'll even laugh. And that's a good thing.

Be light hearted. Smile at yourself. Tell yourself that this is the best moment of your life so far. And it will only be out done by the next moment. And on and on.

Once you've got yourself good and giddy, go out and infect everyone you meet with your heartfelt smile. And tell them to pass it on.

Top 5 Benefits of Smiling

1. Reduce stress
2. Release endorphins, helping to ease pain and uplift mood
3. Lower blood pressure
4. Focus the mind
5. Spread joy

So, try it tomorrow morning. Wake up, look in the mirror and smile your biggest, happiest smile, share it with the world and reap the rewards all day.

If you need inspiration, here are some wise words from one of my favorite philosophers:

"What day is it?", asked Winnie the Pooh.
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.