You Can't Always Get What You Want - A Lesson for All of Us

No matter what our age, whether we're 6 months or 106 years old, we humans tend to  be self-centered; we want what we want, when we want it. I guess it's just the way we're made. But, as we travel through life, we learn that our wants may not always be beneficial to us or to others. And, hopefully, we learn this sooner rather than later.

As a mother, I know that a big part of my job is to help my children become kind, responsible adults who make a positive contribution to the world. And my boys, now ages 6 and 11, are smack dab in the middle of figuring out the boundaries between their wants and needs and the rights, needs and wants of others. They're learning, but, as any mother can tell you, sometimes it's an uphill climb.

I found this video and loved it so much, I had to share it with my kids. I watched their faces as they listened to the song for the first time, and it was like magic. Poof! All those years of me explaining this concept to them didn't hold a candle to the impact that this song had them. Hey, whatever works, right? They loved it so much, we listened to it again and again.

They both looked at me and smiled. Nicholas, my oldest, wiggled his eyebrows at me like a miniature blond Groucho Marx, and asked, "Mom, are you copying the words of this song? Because I heard you say this stuff before." He got the whole point in that one little song and this was his way of showing his newly-found and accepted knowledge and some humor back at me in that very moment. 

We made a game out of it all weekend. Whenever the boys requested something that I declined, instead of just saying no, I sang softly, "You can't always get what you want." It was such a fun way to bond with one another and it put a pretty quick end to their habit of repeating requests, even after I've said no. The usual wining and complaining were replaced by chuckles and smiles.

Will this miracle last? Who knows? I'll be happy if we can keep it going for the next 30 days.

But, for me, the most important part of this experience is the lesson that I learned. 

It's all in the delivery.

With love,
-Tamera

40 Pieces of Advice Challenge - Day 3

I don't know anyone who doesn't like music. Sure, people may disagree on what they like to listen to, but there seems to be something about music that makes it an important part of the human experience.

We use music in celebration, in mourning, in spiritual practices, to create bonds with one another across cultures and generations, to enhance our physical activities.  If you think about it, there's hardly any situation that can't be made better by the addition of music.

And, increasingly, science is starting to uncover why music is such an important part of our lives.

For one thing, listening to music helps boost our immune systems, creating antibodies to fight disease.  Music can also create a noticeable increase in recovery from a wide range of conditions, including heart disease, lung ailments, stroke and even the common cold. Even in our day-to-day lives, listening to good music helps reduce stress by lowering cortisol levels.

Have you ever had the experience of hearing a song and being instantly transported to a different time and place? Maybe it was a song from your teenage years, or music that you and a special someone considered "your song". This same principle applies to people suffering from dementia. It has been shown that music can bring back memories for these people that are not otherwise available to them.

And, if that wasn't enough, studies have found that certain kinds of music, especially classical piano music, can raise spatial reasoning the equivalent of 9 IQ points.

We don't yet fully understand how it is that music has such profound effects on us. But, that shouldn't stop us from enjoying this gift as often as we can.

So, when you wake up in the morning, instead of turning on your TV, start your day off with music. If you're feeling stressed at work, close your office door for a few minutes, turn on a good tune and dance like nobody's watching. When the kids are bickering, instead of shouting at them, put on some calming classical music and let it work its magic.

Make good music a part of your life every day, and you will be happier and healthier!